we broke up but he still wants to talk
could he just be being stubborn and hurt that i left or does he really not love me anymore. For the most part we had an ok relationship. MAKE HIM SEE YOU IN A SECURE, SELF WORTHY LIGHT, AND KEEP IN MIND, ITS HIS LOSS OF HE LOSES YOUAt the end of the day, you had e to know youre a catchGOOD LUCK! But apparently he did not flinch or say he was going to do anything. You could feel super excited that he or she wants to talk, but you could also feel quite nervous. 2. Eric, I really found article helpful but can you please explain this one. English. To dispel the misconceptions, lets take a look at some of the universal truths about guys and breakups some of which may surprise you since they certainly are hidden from the surface. Did I make a mistake by friendzoning him? He usually laughs when I say shut it down but this time he responds withIll shut it down but this isnt working between us :( I guess it gives me more clarity on what happened to me as well. He did make up his mind though that he planned to move back home at the end of his lease to be with her. I agree with previous post. Ive been through the ringer in terms of bad relationships, dating, chasing women and such over the past 12 years. Is he completely over me? good luck. It would NEVER EVER mean that I would initiate contact, hang out regularly or treat him as bestie. The break up was so impulsive and he also has adhd. She has always been very needy, and now she makes this guy like her white knight. And yes, this was written through personal experience, observation of friends and hearing stories from men and women around the world. But he broke up with me cuz he said I deserve someone that loves me more than I love him. MORE:The Real Reasons Its So Hard to Get Over Your Ex, This roots back to what I was saying earlier about neediness and a guy deriving a sense of well-being through how women treat him. Was dating this guy for 5 months and things felt off for a few days out of the blue and he asked for a break to think and deal with stuff Im not clingy nor stay where i dont feel wanted so i granted his request i had refused to speak to him ect.. b/c i was giving him his space then couple days later he as a girlfriend except hes still telling me he wanted me back i said no and held my ground weeks go by and he starts to get emotional and starts to show that he cares n wants me back so i take him back except things that he said would change didntm i was giving 80% i admit because i didnt wanna give my all againjust yet and then he leaves once more but he was only giving 50% if that much. Hey, then he said I need space. He would get mad if I asked questions and get more distant. My friend told me about this website after a really hard breakup that I went through and I was totally in the blue. He got stressed and stood me up once (with phone call apology) and drove 2 hrs to see me the next day. So now Im torn into pieces and just dont know how to get over this. At 1000 pm that night I had a beer and called he answered. ONLY U ACTUALLY NEED TO LEARN FROM IT. This is a road I would never wish on anyone. I do not know if he will come back to you, at this point it does not matter if he is afraid of commitment. Thank you for making me feel a whole lot better than I have been recently. I asked him to try again, promised that I will try not to be like that but hed have to be patient. I never discuss our situation though. I think the two of you should talk, discuss the situation on one level or another. I thought I could motivate him and maybe even change him. I told him I needed to delete him from social media so I can move on. Youre working on yourself now, youre making positive changes and concrete improvements, and they dont get to have you at their beck and call. Like I am trash to him. A month later we hooked up and started a physical relationship. Some people tell me to give up on him and move on because he has problems or doesnt know what he wants. Others say that I should hold on because, if he truly likes me, hell come back eventually. We were happy, I was happier then I ever been in a long time. > I tried to talk to him and fix things and even told him lets not get the familly involved at the end we love each other abd we will get married. A week has passed and all of a sudden, he makes his presence felt on my facebook, and starts liking things that were a while back. Thank you for writing this article. July 1, 2023. You havent walked in her shoes so dont be so quick to judge her. I message him to make sure he got back okay. We have remained friends of sorts. Before the break up I was looking for an apartment for us. But yeah, that was also curious for me: why do guys immediately after a break-up go and quickly find somebody else? But for now reading your article has helped me find acceptance that I have to make an effort to really look forward and move on even if its in small steps. Here is the catch, she has a boyfriend that lives on the other side of the US and they have been online dating for five years. You haven't been waiting for his beck and call. I was actually one of the guys you mentioned after a long relationship.. wouldnt have written it any different. Try to give yourselves some space. Im not retarded, I stop when they ask me, all I wanted was some clarity. When we believe something that is out of alignment with reality, we suffer. and what do I do now am not as pretty an young as I was when I started with him,,,,,,so I really do feel miserable,,,please help. Hence why valentines day is more sensitive a time then usual. Its either i could just let things go and wsh for her happiness Then raged then kept saying he doesnt care. Im hoping hell want to at least explain, but I dont know what to do. I made all the mistakes cried, asked him to think about it, told him that I loved him etc. He might even acknowledge why it was necessary, like telling you that the dynamic between the two of you had become too toxic, but now he believes you've both changed. Soon after his divorce he said he just wanted to be friend but still wanted financial help from me. even if things were great and it happened out of nowhere, realize this: he dumped you. Once they get it and they have you, then many want to resort to their old ways so dont put up with it. But now I see its for the best. But it is not acceptable for men to use women then treat them poorly because they are jerks. Yeah weve taken breaks and personal space but despite all that anger and bitterness whenever he walked into a room my whole world would light up, everytime. I cant talk to him about it cuz I just asked him to leave after our conversation. Nope, because he is a characterless low life who wanted to have his cake and eat it too, count your blessings you are no longer with him. During the relationship his Mother died and he went into shock for 2 months. few instances but it never worked out thankfully. Youre making it into a men versus women article and frankly thats not what Im about and thats not what this site is about. Breaking up with someone can feel challenging and you or your partner may feel deeply hurt, whether the decision is mutual or not. We are 40, so I really expected a bit more from him. The biggest problem was the friend group. He told me I made him happy. Any suggestions?? Anything that happens is worth this moment, Amazing isnt it.? Hey Eric, Why I am not enough? So I mean, thats the reality of it. This is happening to me right now. November 26 he asked me how I am and asked me if Ive found a nicer bf. WIsh he was honest right from the beginning he just wants to be single and not lead me on. I will never really know if was because he wasnt ready or wasnt interested but at least after reading your article its opened my eyes to how guys deal with breakups and even though it may seem harsh or they ended itits their way of getting over you. Not sure if your breakup has affected him or not? I was curious so I replied. it was just once in a blue moon that he said i am important to him and he likes me. At dinner, we had our normal, lightheaded conversation as if it was us again and I didnt want that feeling to end and then I told him how I was making some changes in life I was learning to accept my body in entirety without fear and did several medical tests (ones he asked and ones he didnt) to feel comfortable about myself and future, listened to Tony Robbins on how to control emotions, and even have been taking personal training sessions to strengthen my body (and mind). Youre thinking that the only way you can get close to your ex again is by getting in bed with them. Im just having such a hard time seeing how he could ho from bringing me flowers and texting me to say i love you just because to this. They never met but the cam and everything. on 1st january someone knocked door..i opend so it was he.he asked what is wrong with me.i said nothing thn asked me,am i Happy? They rarely mean it. I think they are still together, however I am not too sure. Looks like I hit a raw nerve for you. i waited 2 days til i text him saying we both acted immature, i erased my fb & now im going to erase your number. Though this can be hard to deal with, it may be best for you and your relationship. He just completely pushed me away, and try to come back. I have to say, that for a guy writing this article, you are absolutely right about how men feel and why they do what they do after a relationship ending. What if its during your no contact period? I had a ring! I would say just leave him be. That he went to a party had a threesome and ended up moving in with one of the girls who happened to be older than him and had money. Their behavior after the breakup does show their interest level, but it also shows emotional stability. Keep reading this article and youll find out! Cheating, breakups, makeups the list goes on I still to this day dont understand the things my man does and says, the excuses he has and the shit he does and quite frankly if I sat here and wondered about it I wouldnt be any closer to an answer as I was at the start of this comment. My story is a strange one. I dont know how to move on, I havent contacted him and likely wont, if ever. seems like this guy really cares about you but he is trying to speed up the break up process. All i want him is to be practical enough and work hard through your own hands not the easy way out. It roughly translates into I dont want her anymore. This article just comes up with a whole load of excuses to justify insensitive and selfish behaviour that some men display after break up. *additional note: He was trying to have sex with me because he always used to tell me hes crazy about me, even after the breakup he still insisted in having sex with me.*. You might respond it is my ego talking which is definitly true, but is it right to crush someones ego just because you are in a position to do so? Wow wow is right! Hes told people that he realized he didnt love me even though he cared about me. It took me months to get over it, but looking back now I can honestly say Im glad he ended things. I dont agree that there is something cowardly about those lines. Could you please touch on the topic of what it means when a man wants to break up but then continue to talk and communicate every day in the same lightheartedness as if nothing ever happened? He hasnt communicated with me for the past two months and he seems to be so happy with his love. . Ok but what if they broke up with you and wants to be friends with you. He kept all my emails and deleted all others. We also lived in different countries so there was no point in pursuing an already broken relationship. Love isnt just butterflies and cotton candy, love is sticking with your partner when the sh*t hits the fan and youre elbow-deep in misery. Fast forward we moved in together, very much in love to this day. > He was hurt by this and he felt I didnt like him as I made him do so much work (like he always had to call me). Never let go, never. > I tried everything to get him back but now i will dissapear. Its been 3 days already. Its a last resort when a person believes that theyve tried everything and the relationship just isnt salvageable. In all these years spent coaching, I see so many people make the mistake of prematurely trying to prove to their ex that theyve changed and that theyre worthy of a second chance. I had no choice of breaking up with my boyfriend after being cheated on with the same girl on three occasions and speaking with the chick complety realizing I made a big mistake cause she said she was scared but worded it the same area that I did and made my life a living hell with the staring and gossip going about the situation. to marry her..now he cant She could of passed it thru the window. I recently spoke with a client who told me about how she ran into her ex who clearly wanted to talk, but she froze. Dear Eric, have you ever heard about Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Its given me a sense of realization and closure. Idk I kinda wanna just change my number and never talk to him again .. You need to take some time to recover from the breakup and rebuild your self-esteem to get him to want you again. He joked he has to find a woman to dance with. Its been only 1.5 wks. What I want to highlight right now is that your ex was not presented with that same opportunity and may not have that same purpose right now. however if your gut is telling you something is not rightthen follow it and move on. Its a story from my own personal experience and I did use it to highlight certain points and universal relationship experiences, but it wasnt meant to counter your point of sticking together. i told him i dont want to be with him because i know where he is at in his life emotionally and mentally wouldnt make me happy etc (he couldnt commit to me properly and sort out his clingy ex girlfriend) but at the same time I cant bear the thought of him moving on. They cant just have you whenever they want to and decide to talk with you when its convenient for them, simply because they want your attention. So I tell him hes not good enough for me and Im done. So I end up meeting her before he ever does and after she broke up with me. That was it, its been 9 days and all contact has stopped. .. but obviously when two people can have closure, thats best and healthiest for everyone. Im pretty clueless as i dont have much ex or relationship to begin with since most of them last for years and such. Hurts a lot. find new friends and never look back. Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Ex wants to be friends but doesn't initiate contact. I tried to be civil and loving about it and told him the door was open if he wanted to try again -if he got his act together. You just allowed yourself to lose control. because he told me that he still loved me but needed time. Its only been 3 months and its still fresh and still hurts. Thanks! I told him that I did it end or are you still with that person or have you been able to move on since then? Your comment goes on and on about your opinions about me and whats wrong with the world, and then you write another comment shaming someone asking for help. my demise was her goal, *anything* to make me less attractive to him. Recently he started a page on FB with the people we use to work with, in which I was invited by past coworkers. Believe me, I was every one of the guys described in this post at one point or another in the worst way at times too. First, I appreciate the comment. and heartbroken like crazy with no clue of the events,,,,,,thanks so much for the input,,,,,saddest part is the good moments were so amazing, I miss so much cooking together and just sleeping in his arms :( I cant believe he would leave that..I guess he just didnt really love me after all. I was wondering could he be serious about the girl?
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we broke up but he still wants to talk
