written by: Shelly-Ann “Dr Sexy-Ann” Weeks
For many women abuse is a fact of life and it affects the way they function. Being on an abusive relationship not only affects the physical but, her mental, and even sexual well being as well. An abused woman typically suffers from low self esteem and self worth and her abuse only magnifies her feelings of inadequacy. So how does she regain her confidence even after leaving the abusive situation? It is possible and she and also feel sexy and confident if she is willing to work on it. Here are some things she can do:
I know it sounds cliche but exercise is a great boost to get her to feel good about herself. In addition to the feelings good endorphins, the transformation she will experience will also her to regain control over her body and feel good about herself.
See a therapist
As a culture, Jamaicans are not taught to see a therapist with problems but it is a necessary step to deal with unresolved issues, especially those formed from being in an abusive relationship.
Star a new project – Give yourself some purpose
Having a reason to wake up each day is a great motivator and the sense of accomplishment is therapeutic. Some women focus on their children and that motivates them to be their best. It does not matter what the project is, as long as it keeps her busy and moving forward.
Do something fun, just for you
Women – especially mothers – typically feel a lot of guilt whenever they indulge in activities that they enjoy. Ignore those feelings, if you are happy, you will make the people around you happy – including your children. So indulge in items and activities that make you feel happy.
Invest in your future – go back to school, change your job, or career overall
After a traumatic experience like an abusive relationship, many women feel like they want to recreate themselves. This is a good thing. Use the opportunity to be another faucet of who you are, try a new career, home, even a new country. Don’t be afraid to start over.
One of the areas that gets affected the most during an abusive relationship, is sexuality. An abused woman don’t feel sexy and it seems almost impossible for her to regain the confidence to be sexual again. Masturbation is a great tool to develop your sexual confidence. Look at yourself naked in the mirror, revel in the parts of your body that you like. Focus on what makes you feel sexy.
Abuse is ugly and it leaves very deep scars – not just physical ones. It is possible to have a full, happy life after the abuse ends but it takes work and a lot of support. It helps if the people around the abused are supportive and not judgmental. It’s a journey and it will require some patience to get to the perfect place. Allow yourself to experience whatever emoition you are feeling – positive or negative. Bottling or ignoring your feelings will have negative consequences in the long run. Talk to someone you trust whenever you need extra support. Don’t be afraid to ask for help – no one is an island.