Written by: Shelly-Ann Weeks
What is jealousy? Is it good for your relationship? How do you respond when you feel jealous? Is it possible to be in a relationship and never experience jealousy? These are some of the questions that pop in my head when I think of the proverbial green-eyed monster – jealousy. I have personally witnessed otherwise clear-thinking, sensible people act crazy as a result of this very overwhelming emotion. But what exactly is jealousy? Google.com defines being jealous as a feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one’s partner is attracted to or involved with someone else. Putting it in layman’s terms, jealousy in a relationship is feeling as if your partner is expressing sexual/intimate interest in someone other than you. Whether or not, there is proof or justification for these feelings, having them is enough to spark some action.
Can jealousy benefit a relationship?
Some persons feel flattered to know that their partner will feel jealous when they flirt with someone else. Showing ownership or even being a little possessive is exactly what some persons want to feel loved by their partner. The trick is to not allow your jealousy to get out of hand. The truth is, everyone has experienced jealousy on some level and how this is expressed depends on the person and the source of the feeling. So yes, a little jealousy is good to remind you how important this person is to you. But please recognize there is a difference between a little jealously and insecurity. Being able to make that distinction will determine how you act when these feelings arise.
How do you respond when you feel jealous?
This question is subjective and will stimulate many very passionate answers. From spying on your partner to confronting them, the actions of a jealous lover can get downright criminal. In other words: If yuh suspeck sey a gal a tek you man, yuh might waan fi grab di gyal a bax har inna har face mek shi undastan herself and guh fin’ har owna man! There are women, who in my opinion, should be working for the FBI, has made it an art form with the skills they display when spying on their man the moment they feel jealous. Among other things they: install GPS on his vehicle, keep tabs on him on Google Maps, get their friends to spy on him, check his clothes to see if he showered since he left the house, and – one of my personal favorites – feel his testicles to see if he ejaculated since she last saw him. Yes, a woman who is a nurse told me that one.
What is the best way to deal with your jealous feelings?
I would say, don’t ignore them. But also don’t get obsessed with them either. Before you wrongfully accuse your partner of something, have some proof. Also, you should be open enough to just talk to each other about any doubt that you may feel. Maybe you don’t like the way your partner relates to a close friend, express that to him/her. Sometimes a simple conversation can go a long way to relieve any suspicions you may have. It is also important to recognize that even though you are in a relationship, you and your partner are individuals and you may respond differently when it comes to jealousy. Remember that communication is important to the success of every relationship, so ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. Have fun and stay sexy!